she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
