There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
