dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
