She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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