so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Well I just put wine in my tea
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
