You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
