i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Enjoy the penises
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
