Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
