The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
