The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
