I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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