# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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