he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
