i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
