Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
My vagina is officially offended.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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