i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
