It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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