i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
