Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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