god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
worst night to have a conscience
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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