im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize