Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize
