you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize