my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
