can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
It was confusing and full of hummus
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
