if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
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