Girls should come with a carfax report
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
