They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
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