omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
