You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
