What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I understand Curling. That high.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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