Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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