"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
