Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
