You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
