Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
