he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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