At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Success! We fucked roommates!
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
