I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
