Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
