I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
just tell him i said nine months
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
