these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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