i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
