Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
