i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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