Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
