if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
These tits shall not be calmed
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
