The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
