Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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