You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Randomize
