I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
