if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
