I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
