Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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