I never want to see another naked old woman again.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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