You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
