Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
