He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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