there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
