Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
