he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
You took a bar mat shot.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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