This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
