Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize