just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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