youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Randomize
