my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
