Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
They took my balls.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
