Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
