My brain says no but my pants say off.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize