I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
