I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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