We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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