Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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