i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
3pm strippers are depressing
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
dude. I can hear the air.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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