I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
being pregnant is like rehab
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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