I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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