I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
